A Long Car Ride to Wooster...

Hello everyone,

Right now I should be lesson planning for my 6th and 7th grade classes, but writing is the only topic of interest on my mind. Well, almost the only thing. I am also thinking of my soon to be born daughter, Mirus, and how she is a large part of this project, Chronicles of the Last Liturian, that has been a part of my life for over five years. Whether I knew it or not the idea of Oliver Lee's journey and the creation of his journal began with Mirus and a short two hour car ride to Wooster, Ohio from Bowling Green. That ride involved a long conversation with my then girlfriend and now wife, Sarah, that I still remember. Back then, children were nowhere in the picture of how we saw our lives, but the idea of who they would be, and how they would be viewed through the eyes of the world was in the forefront of our minds. And not only our minds, but it seemed the minds of everyone around us.

That conversation during the ride to Wooster involved the relationship of Sarah and myself, and how it may be a problem for both our families because I am black man and she is white woman. I know in this day-in-age it may seem common place for interracial couples to be seen in all parts of the U.S., but a simple Cheerios commercial has proven it is still an issue for many people of all backgrounds. Needless to say people forget and occasionally we have to be reminded of the reality of the world and the opposing views of others. During that car ride to Wooster, I was reminded of these opposing views when Sarah said our relationship may be a problem for a few in her family. Luckily, she was wrong, but at the time I was very confused, angry, and stunned. Not because I was black and she was white, but because her entire family had known me for three years and loved me as Sarah's good friend, not her black friend. To be told they may have a problem with our relationship was upsetting. They knew me as a good person, a good man, and a great friend that they could always count on for a laugh and be there for Sarah when she needed me, so I began to wonder what I had done wrong. Luckily, it was an overreaction and they all treated me the same when we told them we were dating, but that feeling of not knowing what I had done wrong, or what I could do to fix not being liked, or even being hated for the color of my skin when people knew me as a being decent person stayed, with me and it still does. During that car ride I began to wonder why the color of our skin mattered if we loved each other. Later, I began to wonder what if our relationship did matter to our families. Would it matter to use? Would we let their ideas affect our life? And if we did let their ideas affect our life what would be the result? A few days later back in Bowling Green I wrote this short story.

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            For two hours neither said a word to the other. She looked out the passenger side window, staring hopelessly into the night looking for the words that fit into the feelings of sympathy and sorrow she was feeling for the awkward meeting the two had with her parents, but none came. He stared ahead, headlights beaming forward showing the way to their weekend hotel while his anger and frustration grew with each continuous mile in silence.

            “The turns coming up.”

            He said nothing. She continued to sit in silence.

            The car turned slowly onto the rock covered driveway from the deserted two lane highway and easily moved towards a house they could see in the distance darkness as the sound of rocks crunching beneath the weight of the car traveled up through the moving vehicle. Shrubbery, trees, roots, sand, and dirt lined both sides of the drive, hiding the foot paths leading up and down the coast. Slowly the car pulled into an empty parking lot, stopped, and sat in near silence as the car engine hummed and shore waves brushed lazily against the coast. There was only one other vehicle parked in the lot. It was dark, silent, and devoid of occupants. The building in front of them was dark. Both looked out their window for any sign of life from inside the quant bed and breakfast. They saw none.

            “It looks like they’re closed,” she said. He said nothing as he turned off the headlights, turned off the ignition, opened the door and got out the car. After a moment she did the same. He made his way towards the front door.

“Kevin, I don’t think they’re open.” He said nothing. She followed him up the steps, not wanting to say she was right in needing to call before leaving for their long weekend away. They both saw, and read the sign on the metal screen door of the seasonal bed and breakfast at the same time. It took a moment for their eyes to adjust to the words reading,

“Lakeside Trails.

Closed for the winter. Reopen on April 15^th.”

            Kevin said nothing. Both stood in silence reading the sign over and over again, hoping for the words to change, but they didn’t. The rustling of autumn leaves swaying in the wind, and the movement of not too distant waves filled the space between them. As the seconds of tranquility and incomprehension piled one on top of the other, Kevin found no other way to release his anger than to lift his foot and kick the screen door with as much strength as he could. The impact of foot to metal shot pain through his foot giving him a brief moment of relief.

            “Kevin, what are you doing?” He kicked it again, anticipating the same release of anger. “Kevin stop.” He continued to kick the door until the sign fell to the ground, and a concaved hole was very visibly seen.

            Breathing heavily, Kevin stared at the door, now partially off its hinges. She did the same. After a moment the sound of nature became the pervading noise.

 “What are we doing, Jennifer? What? Can you tell me because I am seriously having trouble figuring it out.” He looked up from his handy work into her eyes. She continued to stand in silence. “Should we even keep doing this? Because it seems we are destined for failure no matter what we do, or how hard we try, so why even. No one wants us to make it. No one wants this to work. This visit was evidence of that, and I’m sure my parents will feel the same way when we give them the news. So, if no one approves of this relationship why should we keep it going?”

            Rather than say anything she turned and walked down the stairs towards the car. With a heavy sigh he stared at the ground. He made his way down the stairs towards his wife.

“Jennifer…”She continued to walk towards the car. “Jennifer…” She didn’t stop. “Jennifer turn around and talk to me.” He put his hand on her shoulder just as she reached the car. She swung around and he could make out the outline of tears on her face.

            “What do you want me to say, Kevin? Do you want me to say I like this situation? Do you want me to say that I enjoy being the outsider of my family? Do you think I like the looks I get as we walk down the sidewalk hand in hand? Do you!? If you want me to say that I don’t love you, and that I think we should just throw all of this away it’s not going to happen. We knew it was going to be hard going into this, but…”

            “But it wasn’t supposed to be this hard for this long. You said eventually they would come around. That they would understand.”

            “And they will.”

            “When, Jen! It’s been twelve years, I have an established career, I’m intelligent, polite, kind, patient, generous, everything a family would want in a son-in-law and they still can’t see me as anything more than a color. Oh sure, they loved me in college when I was just the good friend and Mathew was the up and coming boyfriend. Hell, they invited me over for Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner, even asked about me before asking about your then fiancé, but the minute we became more than friends I became the enemy of the state, the individual upsetting the natural order of things; the status quo. We both thought if we gave it enough time they would come around, they would see me as the same old Kevin from before, but they don’t. They all hoped this was just a fling. Your grandmother would said, with me still in the room ‘But she’s so pretty, and he’s…well he’s not her type’. She would speak about me as if I weren’t there in most cases. My mother even kept saying, ‘He’s still looking.’ And when we said we were getting married, that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together and that we were in love they said they didn’t approve, they said it would never work so we eloped and came here for our honeymoon to spend a few days locked inside our room away from the judging eyes of the rest of the world. We made love under a tree in the rain just down that trail.” He pointed off to the distance as tears continued to roll down her face. “And now we can’t even spend one night in the place we once felt safe in.” He paused, registering it all as neither man nor wife looked at one another, but, instead, into the night. “Your parents wouldn’t even look me in the eye tonight after we told them. To them I’m just another stranger on the street.”

            The tears did not stop. They rolled from her eyes, down her cheeks, and onto the white rocks beneath her feet. “I can’t fix this.”

            “I don’t want you to.”

            “Then what do you want, Kevin?”

            It was the question of the night. The question that defined his entire life. It was the one thing he himself had been wondering for the entire two hour drive to the one sanctuary he expected to always be available to them. What was it he wanted? He didn’t know. There was no definite answer he could think of as he stood in silence. They both could hear the distant water against the shore as neither could process the intermingling of emotions and thoughts causing them to lose sight of everything. The silence between them seemed to go on forever. She stared at her husband, looking for anything to signify what he was thinking. She could see nothing as he stared into the trees. Eventually, she put her head down and turned to open the car door. She was done fighting. If the world didn’t want her to be happy then so be it. They had won. It was over. There was no use in trying anymore.

            He saw her turn towards the door and knew, not because she said anything, or acted differently in any way, but because she was the woman he had spent the last fifteen years loving and twelve years married to he knew if he didn’t say something he would lose her forever.

            “I want…” She stopped, her back to him and her hand on the door. “I want…you. That’s all I ever wanted. Since the moment I saw you on the shuttle bus I only wanted you. Getting your attention, and spending as much time with you as I could was all I lived for in college. I knew you were dating Matt, and that I had a snowball’s chance in hell of getting you, but just to see you smile and laugh at a stupid joke I told was enough to put me on cloud nine. And when I found out that you felt the same way, nothing in the world could have made me feel better. What I want is what I already have, you laying beside me every morning when I wake up, your beautiful lips saying they love me for no other reason than the fact that it’s true, you getting pissed off when I mess with your hobbit feet.” They both gave a small smile. She took her hand off the door and turned around. “All I want is you. Forget the rest of the world. You’re my wife, and although I may get frustrated at times none of what they say and do matter because you’re the love of my life. And nothing they do can change that. If they don’t want us, fine, we don’t need them. We’ve done pretty well on our own so far, right?” She shook her head. Tears were coming down her face again, but for a much better reason. “You’re still the girl of my dreams, Jen, and you always will be.”

            With nothing else to say she walked into the arms of her husband, and like the abandoned stairwell so many years ago, their cheeks rested on the other and both thought of how good it felt to be in the arms of the person they loved. Neither said a word as tears continued to stream down Jennifer’s face. Kevin held her as tight as he could, neither wanting to let go of the warmth and feel of the other’s body.

            Still holding onto one another, Kevin whispered in her ear, “Let’s go take a look at our old tree.” She smiled and shook her head in agreement. Letting go of one another they took the other’s hand and walked towards the path that would take them to the tree they once made love under.

            The moon was out, but it was hidden behind an overcast of clouds that blanketed the sky like a thick quilt hiding the flashlight that lay on the other side, but it didn’t matter. The two had ran that trail so many times when they were in college they could have navigated it blindfold. It was a good thing too, because that was a night of zero moonlight.

            The nosy rocks turned to soundless earth as their feet impacted with the beaten trail. Dead leaves and twigs littered the way, but it didn’t matter, they knew exactly where they were heading. They walked hand in hand, both feeling better about the future that lay in front of both of them. Both felt as though things would be fine as long as they had the other by their side.

            They were ten minutes into their walk, almost to the hollowed out tree, when they heard something move in the bushes around them. They both stopped, after a few seconds the movement stopped as well. They looked into the darkness trying to see if anyone was there, they could not see a thing. Jennifer moved in closer to Kevin as he put his arm around her and resumed their walk, listening for any sounds of movement. Soon, they heard the same movement, and whispers that stopped the moment they did.

            “Who’s there?” No one answered. “We know someone is out there we can hear you talking.” Still they said nothing.

            “Maybe we should go back.”

            “No, it’s nothing. We’ll be fine. Let’s keep going.”

            Reluctantly they continued, listening intently for any form of movement. They reached the hollowed out tree and stood looking into the darkness. They could hear nothing. Rather than feeling comfort and joy in being at a spot that they shared together once upon a time they felt fear at what may lay in wait where they could not see.

            “Kevin, let’s go back. Something doesn’t feel right.” She looked up into the eyes of her husband with worry. He knew it was time to go. He shook his head in agreement. They turned to leave when they were stopped by four individuals they were not expecting.

            The four blocked the entirety of the small path. Kevin nor Jennifer could make out their faces, but they didn’t need to. They knew something was wrong. No one moved as the clouds parted for a moment to reveal their pale skin, only to return among the heavens. There was nowhere to run.

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After I wrote the story I wanted to do more with the characters. I began to wonder what led Kevin and Jennifer to that hotel on that night? Not just the events of that day with her parents, but what happened when they were children, teenagers, college students? What led them to each other and why did they refuse to give up on the other when the rest of the world told them to? I also wondered did anyone ever find out what happened to them? Was it in the news, was there an investigation, or was I, the writer, the only one who knew their fate? Then I began to wonder, what if I was? After rereading the story again I wanted to save these people, but I couldn't. Their fate was sealed. I couldn't unwrite the story. On the page they were as real as you or me. Their lives set. There had to be some way to keep Kevin, Jennifer, and their unborn baby from passing away on that night. That's when I decided to create Oliver Lee. He was the only one who could save their lives. The only trick was, I had to figure out how.